Tactics for engaging conflict constructively.

  • Apply curiosity.
  • Share the story made up to fill gaps in the narrative.
  • “Not my experience” instead of disagreement.
  • Tell me more, help me understand, wondering, curious.
  • Compare assumptions.
  • Take it back to the problem being solved.
  • Both are committed, ask about the other’s interests in this.
  • Where is this not meeting your needs?


Helps to have comfort with vulnerability. Helpful actions.

  1. Brené Brown, Dare to Lead: Brave Work, Tough Conversations, Whole Hearts (New York: Random House, 2018). (See notes.)